I am blogging about fear for a couple of days and today I want to talk with you about family fears. This blog was not only created for ministry purposes but for personal reasons as well. Today I am going to be as transparent as I can be in a blog, it's going to be a little personal.
I am not a good enough husband
God has blessed me with an awesome wife. We have been married for 9 years. I know, she does not look that old, but we have. I understand my role. I try to be the best protector, provider, encourager, friend, and husband that I can be. There are days that I fall short. Paige is my best friend in life and I thank God for her everyday. I do not try to be a perfect husband but a good one. I try to put her needs ahead of mine and to think about what she really needs at times, not just want I want.
I am not going to be a good enough father
We do not have any kids yet and no, Paige is not pregnant (just to clear things up). We want kids and are excited about one day having them. Although, I am not a father yet, I do understand the weight and responsibility that comes with that title. Parenting is a full time job. Working in Youth Ministry for 9 years, I have dealt with some pretty messed up students and a lot of their issues unfortunately came from home. I do not want to be one of "those" parents. I am already seeking counsel from some wise men that have raised pretty good kids. I will try my hardest to love my kids with everything I have and raise them like my parents and Paige's parents raised us.
My Dad's health
In 1998, my Dad had a heart attack and then a month later had open heart surgery. In the process of all of this, we learned that his heart was not in the best of shape. After he retired, somewhere around the end of 2003, he had other tests done and the doctor told us that his heart had 5 - 7 years, if we were lucky. You need to understand something. First of all, my Dad is superman. You do not understand, there is not anything my dad can not do. Also, he is my best friend as well. There is not a day that goes by that we do not talk. He is the person I call for wisdom and perspective about life. He knows everything.
How I handle these fears are a little different than the others.
Being a good husband - Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." I strive to be more like Jesus everyday. I start with how I love Paige, provide for her, protect her, give myself for her.
Being a good father (in the future) - Proverbs 22:6, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." I trust that this covenant is true and still in affect today.
My Dad - Acts 13:36, "For when David had served God's purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep; he was buried with his fathers and his body decayed." When my Dad has served God's purposes here it will be his time to die. I trust God and his timing. That is the only way I can deal with it, trust.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
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