There is something that has been rolling around in my mind the last couple of days. I struggle with trying to make people happy all the time. This is not anything new for me, it is something that I have battled for most of my life. Call it low self-esteem, call it whatever you like, sometimes it becomes a real vice in my life.
Why? What is at the root of it? Today, I was thinking, "Am I a people pleaser to please my own ego?" Do I want to make people happy because deep down I want to be liked? Do I do what I do for all the wrong reasons? By helping other people am I just taking a huge ego trip?
Lately, God has been dealing with me about loving with no agenda and serving with no motive. I am finding it difficult. I always seem to have an agenda. There is always a reason why I do some things. To serve without a motive really means that I have to put others ahead of myself.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
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